A Book Review of

9 Things You Simply Must Do To Succeed in Love and Life

Dr. Henry Cloud has found nine characteristics that successful people possess which can make a big difference in anyone's life who chooses to practice these principles. Ignoring or failing to practice these principles can cause failure and pain.

• Dig it up - The first principle is to dig up the issues that are deep in your heart. The deepest desires can lead to ultimate happiness while the deepest pains must be dealt with and discarded.


• Pull the tooth - The second principle is similar to the first in that it encourages the reader to get rid of negative energy. But instead of focusing on inward negativity, this principle is about eliminating the outward forces that drain our time and energy.


• Play the movie - The third principle is to think through each action to the final consequences before making a decision. The author emphasizes that not all good or bad actions will produce a positive or negative end result. Therefore, careful consideration is needed in even the small decisions.


• Do something - The fourth principle is to take action instead of waiting on events or other people to make the first move.


• Act like an ant - The fifth principle builds on the fourth in that it encourages action on projects that need to be divided into smaller steps. Successful people do not get overwhelmed and quit because of a complicated, difficult, or long-term task.


• Hate well - The sixth principle is to examine values and determine what is worthy of love and hate. The focus of the principle is on hating the right things with the right attitude, instead of hurting people and destroying lives.


• Don't play fair - The seventh principle is to treat others better than they deserve rather than treating them fairly. Cloud states that treating others positively or negatively based on how they treat you "will destroy every relationship in life." (p. 169)


• Be humble - The eighth principle is to be humble. This attitude will allow a person to help others when they fail and allow a person to accept their own failures as a "normal part of the process." (p. 198) Being humble also facilitates conflict resolution because a person will be more willing to apologize and to forgive.


• Upset the right people - The ninth and final principle is to avoid trying to please everyone and to know when it is profitable to upset someone for the right reasons.

Dr. Cloud concludes the book with encouragement about how God helps us along in our journey by providing the people and tools that we need to succeed. Then Cloud offers twelve practical tips for applying the principles found in his book.

Obviously, I could go into a lot more detail about each point, but I just wanted to give a quick summary. The best part of the book, in my opinion, was all of the personal stories he gave to apply each principle. It's a great book to challenge anyone to live and love a little better. I will write more about this book in another post.