Webster announces 2008 Word of the Year

This year's Word of the Year is pertinent to all of us who blog and share info online.
The word is... "overshare". This video is a great reminder to to simply keep some things to yourself. :D Link

Other People's Pictures

For those of you that don't know, Google has an excellent photo editing software and photo sharing website called Picasa. Today as I was browsing some of my family pictures, I noticed a link at the top of the page called "Explore". I found that I can browse random photos that have been uploaded by other people (if they classified their photos as public). There are some amazing photos from all over the world. And some people seem to be real photographers. I found one page that was particularly fascinating. It is extreme close-ups of insects. My kids will love them. I've attached some of my favorites here.

World Health Organization Announcement

Since the baby formula scandal in China back in September '08 and the pet food recall in 2007, the World Health Organization has been reviewing research to determine whether or not melamine is safe to consume at any level. According to Wikipedia, melamine is a derivative of a calcium compound and is used in the production of countertops, dry erase boards, fabrics, glues, housewares and flame retardants, among other things. Melamine is also one of the major components in Pigment Yellow 150, a colorant in inks and plastics. China is the world's largest exporter. Melamine is sometimes illegally added to food products in order to increase the apparent protein content, which is what happened in China and caused over 6000 babies to become ill after drinking the contaminated formula. At least 4 babies died from malnutrition.

Ingestion of melamine may lead to reproductive damage, and bladder or kidney stones, which can lead to bladder cancer. According to international experts as reported by TopNews.com "Melamine is a contaminant that should not be in food. However, sometimes it is unavoidable." Melamine resin is used in food packaging and tableware, and is capable of migrating to food and beverages.

For the first time, the WHO has set a tolerable daily intake limit (TDI) in order to provide an industry standard. The TDI standard for melamine has been set at 0.2 milligrams per kilogram of body weight. Toxicity levels had previously been determined at 3 grams per kilogram of body weight. But melamine levels are not routinely monitored in food because of the relatively low toxicity and the expense of detection methods.

So what does this mean for the average consumer? If we are following general guidelines for healthy nutrition, the risk of exposure to melamine will be greatly reduced. We should limit the number of prepackaged foods that we buy and consider buying fresh ingredients instead. And although formula manufactured in the US has not been contaminated, this issue may remind mothers that infant formula is a processed food containing ingredients that may be foreign to a baby's system. Mothers should consider nursing throughout the first year of a baby's life if possible.

Petersen book review

Why Don't We Listen Better?
Communicating and Connecting in Relationships
By J. Petersen (2007)


Petersen begins his book by creating a visual of where our thoughts and feelings come from and how we communicate based on this visual. He humorously calls it his "Flat-Brain Theory of Emotions." He ascribes our gut-level feelings to the stomach, opinions and openness to the heart, and thoughts and rationalization to the brain. Normally, all three of these areas are active during the communication process. The "flat-brain" becomes an issue when the emotions in the "stomach" become overwhelming, thus pressing up on the heart causing it to become hard, and also adding pressure to the brain. The brain then becomes "flat" i.e. irrational and the normal functions of the eyes and ears are also affected. This visual helps us to understand what is going on inside a person who is acting and speaking irrationally. Knowing that this is a common problem that happens to everyone at times, helps you to give empathy and understanding to a person even when that person may be attacking you. The only way to constructively deal with this person is to let them "vent". By listening effectively without becoming defensive, you allow the person to vent their feelings which reduces the pressure on their "brain" and allows them to return to a more logical frame of mind.

When a flat-brained person attacks you and you immediately start to defend yourself, you will find yourself in a situation that Petersen calls the "flat-brain tango". Both parties become flat-brained which results in escalating emotions and arguments. To avoid the flat-brain tango, Petersen describes a method that he calls the "double-reverse-twist". This requires the listener to focus on the problem underneath the anger of the talker instead of focusing on defending himself against the attack. The listening techniques described later in the book will help to calm the attacker into a state of mind that will then make logical discussion possible.

The primary tool that Petersen uses to improve communication is called the "talker-listener card" (TLC). He goes into great detail on how to use the card as a type of moderator in helping two people to take turns in a conversation so that both parties feel heard and understood. The side of the card facing the talker reminds them to talk about what bothers them most and to own the problem (instead of blaming others). The talkers goals are to share thoughts and feelings without accusing, attacking, labeling or judging. The side of the card facing the listener reminds them to be calm enough to hear and that they don't own the problem. The listener's goals are to provide safety, to understand and to clarify without agreeing, disagreeing, advising or defending.

While practicing this new type of communication style, Petersen warns of common communication traps to avoid. These traps include poor listening while forming your own response, disguising accusations in the form of a question, saying "I understand" instead of leading the person to share their feelings, and saying "Yes, but..." which is a form of arguing.

The remainder of the book focuses on specific listening techniques with plenty of examples of how to use them in your marriage, your job, with your children, friends, family, and in group situations. He goes into depth on special situations such as dealing with death, persistent anger, and fear barriers. Finally, he ends the book with his personal philosophy which is that the character qualities of the listener are more important than specific techniques. The most important qualities are empathy, genuineness, and warmth.

I highly recommend this book for everyone. Most of us learn how to communicate from our family, friends, and television. We get into patterns that may or may not work. But communication experts have spent years exploring the techniques that truly work. Unfortunately, most of us don't use these techniques. We need to educate ourselves and change our habits so that we can be better role models for our children.

Our New Christmas Kitten!

The kids were so excited when I brought home a kitten. Some people down the street were giving them away. We picked out a male, so we won't get surprised with kittens later on. But we haven't chosen a name yet. The kids have lot of great ideas, but I told them to wait until we've had him for a few days before deciding. So far he is adjusting well. The kids can't stop watching it and commenting on every single thing it does. :)

A personal application from 9 Things You Simply Must Do

As I began to read this book, I knew immediately what the author was talking about when he describes the "alive feeling" that someone gets while doing something they truly love. I always enjoyed art class in school, but I never did much drawing outside of school. What I did enjoy was writing. Not the process of putting my thoughts on paper, but the act of writing.

I loved the way a pencil gave resistance and the way a pen glides over the paper, creating two different effects in my handwriting.

I used to trace other people's handwriting and then try to recreate it. I would get distracted while taking notes in class because I would be spending too much thought on how my words looked.

I even started training myself to write with my left hand in order to develop yet another style. When I was about fourteen, I got a calligraphy set for Christmas. It wasn't easy for me right away, and I was frustrated at my lack of ability. But I kept practicing. I wrote letters to friends with those pens and used them in my diary for months. I had to think of things to write in order to keep it interesting. I remember copying verses out of the Bible for no reason other than to practice my calligraphy.

As I got older and my time became more demanding, I cut back on the amount of time that I spent on my calligraphy. I enjoyed doing it, but I had no real use for the talent, so I let it fall away. For the next ten years, I rarely pulled out the calligraphy set.

After getting married and having four kids, I went through a time of depression. I couldn't seem to pull myself out of it. I went to a doctor and started on an anti-depressant. Within a few weeks I knew that I was feeling better when I had the desire to pull out my calligraphy set. After playing with it for a while, I decided to use my talent to create Christmas presents for my whole family. I used almost every spare minute for the next two months creating those gifts. And for the first time in years, I felt really alive.

My amazing sister is doing a holiday give-away!! All you have to do to enter is follow these rules.

A Book Review of

9 Things You Simply Must Do To Succeed in Love and Life

Dr. Henry Cloud has found nine characteristics that successful people possess which can make a big difference in anyone's life who chooses to practice these principles. Ignoring or failing to practice these principles can cause failure and pain.

• Dig it up - The first principle is to dig up the issues that are deep in your heart. The deepest desires can lead to ultimate happiness while the deepest pains must be dealt with and discarded.


• Pull the tooth - The second principle is similar to the first in that it encourages the reader to get rid of negative energy. But instead of focusing on inward negativity, this principle is about eliminating the outward forces that drain our time and energy.


• Play the movie - The third principle is to think through each action to the final consequences before making a decision. The author emphasizes that not all good or bad actions will produce a positive or negative end result. Therefore, careful consideration is needed in even the small decisions.


• Do something - The fourth principle is to take action instead of waiting on events or other people to make the first move.


• Act like an ant - The fifth principle builds on the fourth in that it encourages action on projects that need to be divided into smaller steps. Successful people do not get overwhelmed and quit because of a complicated, difficult, or long-term task.


• Hate well - The sixth principle is to examine values and determine what is worthy of love and hate. The focus of the principle is on hating the right things with the right attitude, instead of hurting people and destroying lives.


• Don't play fair - The seventh principle is to treat others better than they deserve rather than treating them fairly. Cloud states that treating others positively or negatively based on how they treat you "will destroy every relationship in life." (p. 169)


• Be humble - The eighth principle is to be humble. This attitude will allow a person to help others when they fail and allow a person to accept their own failures as a "normal part of the process." (p. 198) Being humble also facilitates conflict resolution because a person will be more willing to apologize and to forgive.


• Upset the right people - The ninth and final principle is to avoid trying to please everyone and to know when it is profitable to upset someone for the right reasons.

Dr. Cloud concludes the book with encouragement about how God helps us along in our journey by providing the people and tools that we need to succeed. Then Cloud offers twelve practical tips for applying the principles found in his book.

Obviously, I could go into a lot more detail about each point, but I just wanted to give a quick summary. The best part of the book, in my opinion, was all of the personal stories he gave to apply each principle. It's a great book to challenge anyone to live and love a little better. I will write more about this book in another post.

Me and kids went over...

Me and kids went over to St. Augustine yesterday they had a great time and took a bunch of pictures. We took Andrey, well we took all the kids over to th fort(?) and had a great time. We are able to learn a little bit more about the history of St. Augustine and teach the kids about St. Augustine being the oldest city in the United States. You have to walk around got to see a live cannon firing that was pretty cool and got to get to the kids some icecream which is obviously their highlight for the day and sorry not icecream but Jilato(?) it was a lot of fun and there was appropriate length for three or four hours not too bad and the weather was beautiful nice and sunny and we are able to walk around but not get too hot. We had a great time. listen

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Another gorgeous day here in Jacksonville Florida.The family and I are going to head over to Neptune Beach and enjoy the beautiful weather, maybe even jump in the water, we'll see. I'm really excited just being able to get out of work and enjoy some time with my family. Looks like it's going to be pretty fun.From what I hear the kids are actually in the water, so we'll see. listen

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